The process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress – such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. It refers to the ability to bounce back from difficult experiences.
Research has shown we all commonly demonstrate resilient behaviour. Being resilient does not mean a person doesn’t experience sadness or distress – these feelings are normal. Resilient people have an extraordinary trait to survive such experiences without it holding them back.
Where does resilience come from? Do some people have more of it than others do? Is this some unique quality only special people have? What role does the environment and culture play in hindering or helping ones resilience?
The Simple Answer
Resilience is not a trait people either have or do not have; regardless of race, age, gender, creed, etc. It involves behaviours, thoughts, and actions that can be learned and developed by anyone. In fact, those we would define as resilient often have the skill thanks to action learning through life experiences that involve considerable emotional distress.
Ten Pillars of Emotional Resilience
Resilience mind-set can be achieved by learning and developing the ten Pillars of emotional resilience.
PILLAR ONE – Make Connections…
Taking time to build good relationships with others helps increase our emotional strength. Forge positive relations with people at work, people in your family and people who have nothing to do with both.
PILLAR TWO – See Crises Events As They Are…
Stop seeing major trauma and crisis events as insurmountable problems. An old Vietnamese proverb exemplifies this strength well – you cannot change what has happened, for that is in the past. You can however control how we respond to that past.
PILLAR THREE – Accept Change…
Surrender yourself to the fact that change is part of life. Accept that from time-to-time certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations beyond your control.
PILLAR FOUR – Take Action…
Do something about achieving your goals, if you don’t have any, get some! Set achievable goals, rather than wasting time on ‘learning to fly without any wings.’
PILLAR FIVE – Be Decisive…
Do not avoid facing adversity – confront the problem head on and take decisive action to improve the situation or ensure it does not repeat itself in your life.
PILLAR SIX – Self Improve…
Be active in finding ways to improve yourself and don’t be frightened to get to know yourself better. Find reasons to have a strong sense of self-worth and value in the world.
PILLAR SEVEN – Develop An Ego…
Take time to find reasons why you are important and focus energy on developing confidence. Trust yourself and your instincts so they can better help you and your world to problem solve.
PILLAR EIGHT – Keep Things in Perspective…
Never make mountains out of molehills and when confronting mountains view them in perspective of the greater challenge ahead – even Mt Everest looks small from the moon.
PILLAR NINE – Be Hopeful…
Find the optimistic outlook for even the most devastating event. Learn to see what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear – which is what we often confuse as what we see.
PILLAR TEN – Take Care of Yourself…
Pay attention to your own needs and feelings – but don’t be self-centred. Keep yourself healthy, fit and well – invest energy into eating well, gentle exercise and maintaining a positive frame of mind.