Happy New Year! What does that mean? A new year is starting and it’s a good time to take stock. But sometimes when we reflect we can find ourselves thinking I should do this, do that. I find that taking the emphasis away from the predominant “resolutions list” changes the quality of reflection away from things I “should” or “must” change to things I want to let go of or move towards. Rather than telling myself to NOT do something, which draws me into a battle, I am drawn to what I actually want.
The goals are often less important than the experience I’m looking to have in achieving the goal. For example, if we take weight loss, what might I be looking for if my goal was to lose ten pounds? Imagine what I will feel if I lose ten pounds. What I’m really looking for is the experience of feeling more comfortable with my body. Using this approach I might then look at ways in which I could achieve more comfort within my body: taking better care of myself; eating nourishingly (instead of restrictively, which then sets up the inevitable fall from grace, which in turn makes me eat even less healthily); doing activities that bring me into contact with my body (like swimming, massages, walks, or if feeling adventurous, dancing); keeping blood sugar levels balanced (to help avoid cravings to eat unhelpfully calorific snacks). The amazing thing is that this approach has the effect of producing a real desire to look after my body instead of pounding it into shape.
So my advice to you this new year, if you are looking to change anything in your life, is to create the vision of what you want and then to step by step, process the blocks as they arise. It’s inevitable that there will be slip-ups on the way. When a slip up occurs do not run with the guilty thoughts that follow. Instead, instantly put the slip up into its proper place – behind you. Allow the seeds of what you desire to gain a foothold in the soil of your being. Before long, there will be lovely green shoots.